Category: Joke Board
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative
meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
8. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over.
9. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
10. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
11. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
12. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
13. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
<lol> despite, well, you know. Whatever!
My favorite is:
12. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
voya. (Actually, I can't think of any yiddishisms.)
Bob
Oy
Now that you're a bigshot CL, I hope that doesn't mean I have to start treating you with anything approaching respect.
lol, my favorite,
10. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Becky, my shoes need shining.
Bob
Well just pee on them like you usually do.